Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
