Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
this boner is exhausting
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
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