Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
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Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
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I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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