come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I still have a little drunk in my system
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
