He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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