i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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