I'd wear matching sweaters with you
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
