I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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