You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
