he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
