you traded sex for a burrito?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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