I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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