I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize