You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
