Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
