This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
