I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
