Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
