They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize