make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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