I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize