You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I would fuck him just for his dog
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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