He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
