Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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