3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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