Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize