I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
