i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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