He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
