all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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