I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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