i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
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This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
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That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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