how can u be prego again
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
