Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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