Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Michael Bay diarrhea
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
