New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I think your dad took our porno
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
