Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
