6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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