It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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