How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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