**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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