It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Hippo gnu deer
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
