im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
