just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
