chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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