can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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