I heard we made out
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
