More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
