So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
