:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
