well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
