Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
