i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
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