You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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