Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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