I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize