even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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