I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
