Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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