we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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