The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
