There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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